Skip to main content

Ghosted Review

 


At the end of a first date you can immediately tell whether or not you want to see the person again. It’s the same with movies. As soon as the credits start to roll you can immediately tell whether or not you want to watch the movie ever again. After sitting through AppleTV+’s “Ghosted” I can confidently say that I never want to endure this movie again. Even if I weren’t paying attention to it I wouldn’t even want to be in the same room where it was playing. I cannot believe that it took FOUR screenwriters to come up with a movie that is brimming with mediocrity and one lifeless, unentertaining trope after another. There are times when the dialogue is painful to sit through, made all the worse by an unearned and egregious two hour runtime that feels about 40 minutes too long. 


You would think that the superstar casting of Chris Evans and Ana de Armas would guarantee a hit but “Ghosted” is proof that just because two people are hot and famous, does not make up for genuine romantic chemistry. What makes watching Evans and de Armas even more insufferable is that the movie keeps trying to insist they have chemistry by literally having characters declare how palpable the tension is between them. Reader, the tension was non-existent. About as non-existent was the entertainment level. “Ghosted” is not romantic or funny enough to recommend to fans of rom-coms and not exhilarating enough to recommend to fans of action movies. It doesn’t take bold enough risks in either direction and what we get is a movie thats an forgettable flatline. 


Add in cameos from Marvel actors that don’t add any laughs, the waste of a perfectly good Amy Seders and the overuse of forced plant metaphors and you have a movie that no one will be revisiting anytime soon. In both love and movie-watching you deserve not to have your time wasted and for that reason go ahead and give “Ghosted” the slip. Don’t worry. You’ll never wake up in a cold sweat questioning if this movie is the one that got away. 


1/5


Review by: Luke Elisio 










#review #appletv #toronto #canada #movie #action #spy 

Popular posts from this blog

Rating all V/H/S/Halloween Segments

Like sorting through your candy after a night of trick-or-treating, V/H/S/ Halloween is a mixed bag. The eighth instalment in this cult-favourite horror anthology series comes up short of previous entries, but there are still a couple of treats in here that should satisfy your twisted cravings. A chilling still from V/H/S/ Halloween . Diet Phantasma This wraparound segment follows an R&D team testing a new low-calorie soda made with “real ghosts.” It’s silly fun, but gets a bit repetitive with each new test subject. The commercial playing during the end credits was a nice touch. Rating: ★★½☆ Coochie Coochie Coo This short feels like walking through a haunted house — but not in a good way. The plot is like something torn from a creepypasta thread. Everything is constantly being spelled out in a painfully obvious way. The practical effects and makeup are decent, and this is probably the only segment that comes close to being scary...

The Mandalorian Season 3 Review

  Listen, I love Star Wars. I will always love Star Wars.  The  original and prequel trilogies were a big part of my childhood, and helped shape my love of cinema. While  The   Mandalorian  isn’t among my favourites in  the  franchise, I thought it had a promising first season and a significantly stronger season two. Season three had so much potential, but a frustrating lack of focus held it back from greatness.  This show’s always had a bit of an identity crisis, but it’s never been as clear as it is here. Does it want to be a procedural-style adventure of  the  week, or tell an epic, multi-season spanning arc? Season one leaned toward  the  former, while Season two found a satisfying balance of both. Season three tries to find that balance, but  the  overarching story it wants to tell is bigger than  the  few episodes allotted to do so. There are only 8 chapters, some barely over 30 min. That’s a fair...

The Rip Review

  The Rip is all the evidence you need that a great cast can elevate an otherwise run-of-the-mill movie. Without its impressive A-list roster, this would’ve likely been lost among a crowd of forgettable January dumping ground releases. Throw Matt Damon, Ben Affleck and a handful of other extremely talented actors into the mix, though, and now you’ve got something worth watching.  While there are exceptions that prove the rule, a lot of these police/cartel thrillers are interchangeable when it comes to their cookie-cutter story beats. The Rip breaks exactly zero molds, but it also doesn’t feel as uninspired as it could’ve. There are enough surprises to keep things engaging, and the tension - which the movie often hinges on - is appropriately high strung. The action is punchy and loud, which is no surprise coming from Director Joe Carnahan. While I do have minor issues with some of the sequences feeling a bit choppy in how they were shot and edited, the action is solid and packs...