Skip to main content

War of The Worlds | Review by: Benjamin Garrett

 


When’s the last time you watched a movie that truly delivered on its potential, exceeding your every expectation? I’m talking about a one of a kind experience that gave you exactly what you were looking for, right when you needed it most - kind of like the way Amazon Prime delivers packages quickly and efficiently to millions of people around the world, every day.


Yeah, War of the Worlds is not a movie that delivers anything, on any level. Actually, it’s barely a movie at all. This embarrassing adaptation must have H.G. Wells spinning in his grave. Very loosely based on his original novel, and blatantly stealing from past adaptations, this movie shows us a side of the story nobody asked for. We get to see the whole thing play out from a government official’s desktop computer and webcam. 


In a career worst performance, Ice Cube reacts to stock footage and glitchy shaky cam video for a full hour and a half. The highlights include watching him chat on Microsoft Teams, lurk people’s Facebook profiles, and place an order on Amazon Prime (more on that in a moment). There is some semblance of a plot, which is riddled with holes and oh-so-stupid twists in equal measure. The timeline of events in particular, is an absolute mess. When we do get glimpses of the actual invasion, the CGI has a level of polish equivalent to a high school computer class project. Keep in mind, this movie sports a 20 million dollar production budget, that, for the life of me, I cannot fathom how it was spent. 


The result is something that closer resembles a 90 minute commercial for Amazon, and a handful of other big tech conglomerates, than it does a real film. The number of times characters say “Amazon cart” is hilariously and blatantly obvious. The writers must’ve thought they were creating a Pavlov’s dog situation, that would have us all subconsciously opening Prime to do a little shopping. All of that pales in comparison, though, to the aggressive Amazon Air advertisement that plays a pivotal role in the movie’s climax. 


The invasion isn’t the only disaster on display in War of the Worlds, because the movie itself is catastrophically awful. It’s not often that a film this poorly conceived comes along - a real phenomenon that has to be seen to be believed. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go fill my Amazon Cart. 


0/5 


Review by: Benjamin Garrett

Popular posts from this blog

The Mandalorian Season 3 Review

  Listen, I love Star Wars. I will always love Star Wars.  The  original and prequel trilogies were a big part of my childhood, and helped shape my love of cinema. While  The   Mandalorian  isn’t among my favourites in  the  franchise, I thought it had a promising first season and a significantly stronger season two. Season three had so much potential, but a frustrating lack of focus held it back from greatness.  This show’s always had a bit of an identity crisis, but it’s never been as clear as it is here. Does it want to be a procedural-style adventure of  the  week, or tell an epic, multi-season spanning arc? Season one leaned toward  the  former, while Season two found a satisfying balance of both. Season three tries to find that balance, but  the  overarching story it wants to tell is bigger than  the  few episodes allotted to do so. There are only 8 chapters, some barely over 30 min. That’s a fair...
Read more

Boss Level Film Review

       Boss Level is a new addition to the time loop genre, with a twist. Ex-special forces officer, Roy Pulver, played by Frank Grillo, relives the same day until he dies. Every day he is hunted by assassins and when killed, he wakes up back in his bed where he started, only to have to try and survive all over again. Roy has no idea why he is stuck in this infinite time loop but he must do what he can to survive, and the longer he survives, the more he uncovers about his particular situation.  Unlike most action films that take time to build up, this film gets right into it and offers tons of non-stop combat sequences that would satisfy any lover of action films. Its erratic flow makes for some fun action scenes which come out of nowhere since Roy can expect the assassins to attack at any moment. If you play video games often and have ever been stuck on a level for hours or even days, you know the feeling of having to repeat the same thing over and over again u...
Read more

Better Man | Review by: Benjamin Garrett

  What at first feels like a CGI gimmick allows Better Man to climb and swing it’s way beyond standard biopic conventions. This larger than life musical is worth a watch even if, like me, you needed to ask “Who the hell is Robbie Williams?”.  A pop icon in the UK who didn’t quite make a household name for himself in North America, Robbie Williams bares his life (the good the bad and the drug fueled ugly) in this dazzling account of his rise to fame. Musician biopics often focus too heavily on the creation of the artist’s work, and not enough on the actual artist. Better Man gives audiences a sobering portrait of the man behind the monkey, with his songs placed in pivotal life and career moments to move the narrative forward. This works especially well if you aren’t entirely familiar with Williams’ work, because you won’t find yourself waiting to hear specific needle drops. Instead they flow organically into the story, with gorgeously choreographed musical numbers.  And bo...
Read more